I panicked when I realized I'd neglected to switch my kefir grains into fresh sugar water for 2 and a half weeks. The water was incredibly strong and I tossed it, but the grains looked ok so I put them in fresh mix with a little mineral water treat. We're just starting the third round since the neglect and I am happy to report that they are reproducing at record speed!
With two batches split off, I'm going to start experimenting more. First comparing results of apple slices in the first and second fermentations.
I have realized that I have a strange attachment to the grains, not apparent by the neglect, but still... I have more than I know what to do with, but I cannot bring myself to toss them out. None of my acquaintance want to adopt a batch. I thought of naming them, but wonder if that's a step too far toward obsessive. I already added a section to the recipe box for successful recipes.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Gratitude and Suffering
"I looked down and saw my 2-year old daughter lying there with her insides spilling out." Khaled Abed Rabu, a resident of Gaza, as quoted by Time magazine, "Voices from The Rubble", Feb. 9, 2009
My son turned two years old this week. When I read this story, I balled out loud like a baby, heart wrenching sobs for the pain of a mother who watched all three of her innocent daughters shot, executed, by one Israeli soldier. I do not understand all the complexities of this particular war, but I do understand that the depth of human suffering is immeasurable. I do not understand what my response to this should be, could be. I have two sons myself. I cannot go to Gaza and love that woman, but I want to. I cannot sort out who is right and who is wrong, cannot decide to support the war or not. I know that some military efforts are rebuilding civilization while others are destroying and hating, exponentially increasing world violence. I cannot and will not blame the soldiers who are following orders, but neither can I entirely blame the societies backing the soldiers or the leaders. I cannot wrap by mind around all the reasons, but I can wrap my heart around the pain.
My gratitude runs deep for the military that protects me and my family from suffering the way this woman in the Time article is suffering. It is important to me that this is clear: I am grateful for my safe spot in America. The view from my window is one of progress: homes, families, jobs, construction, yards with growing trees several generations old. The view from her window is the opposite in every literal way: dry dead dirt, rubble, destruction, loneliness.
There is a distinct difference between tragedy and injustice. Suffering that results from normal courses in the world, hurricanes for instance, is tragic. Suffering that results from human selfishness, fear, greed and hate, 10-year-old boys tortured in Guantanamo for instance, is unjust. I have cried several more times this weekend, cried for the injustice, to share the burden of suffering. Right now, right here, my tears and prayers are all I can give that woman and those like her. Maybe someday I will remember her and show love to an immigrant or refugee who survived. In my heart's ear I can hear the silence that echos behind a single gun shot, the second of realization that life is altered. A quiet chamber in me hears the whisper of a child's last breath rending the peace. Bombs sound far off in the distance. Time and noise stretch out like a cavernous tunnel, and I cry out to God. Tommorrow, I will sing playful songs with my children and do the laundry.
Monday, December 15, 2008
My New Self: A Runner!
December 14, 2008I couldn’t sleep last night. It felt like the night before Christmas or a trip to Disneyland when I was a little girl, or like the night before my wedding! I’m nervous and excited. I agonized in my packing about what to wear, etc… but ended up making last minute changes today anyway. They are predicting perfect temperatures, but windy.
Starting Line: Meet Todd Hall. Todd works for Apartment Life and Kiley thought we run at a similar pace to each other. Since we ran into each other at the start line, we decide to stick together at least in the beginning.
Miles 1-3: This is crazy! There are 17,000 runners. It’s chaos and I have to pee! I find a port-o-let and amazingly, some fellow Lifer’s! Peel the pants. Sure it’s cold, but I’m swearing in my pants already. I planned on loosing them and so am wearing cheap Capri warm-ups from Ross. There is a funny man singing karaoke at the first water station. I love it! It is windy, but not too bad.
Miles 4-6: Okay, feeling the need to walk, but I don’t want to hold up Todd and he keeps waiting for me, so I press on. The downtown area in Dallas is nice. I like running with new scenery to look at. It’s certainly better than the brown gunk in the bottom of Thunderbird Paseo Park.
Miles 7-10: The neighborhoods are beautiful! The houses look like they are out of a fairy tale book. I love the families cheering from their yards. We had to move over for a fire engine and ambulance. That was disconcerting. I ran past just as they were lifting the guy onto the stretcher. He didn’t look good. I try not to think about what might have caused whatever happened to him. Just keep running up this hill!!! At least the wind it mostly at our back! Also the half marathon course has split from ours so the road is not quite so crowded.
Mile 11-12: Reached the top of the hill and Todd and I decided to give ourselves a walking break. We picked two trees about thirty yards ahead to mark when we would run again. Turn the corner and there’s ESPN. Great, I’m on TV walking mile 12! My knees are starting to ache so I’m not giving up my break just to look good on TV. The lake looks rough. The wind is causing waves with white caps to break against the shore!
Mile 13: I hear a snatch of someone else’s conversation. “I was in a wheel chair for two years. Last March, I got out of my chair and today I’m running, less 10 months later!” That is inspiration right there. There are birds crowding the dead branches of a tree up ahead. It reminds me of the buzzards in Disney’s The Jungle Book. Fast forward fifty yards, and what is that awful smell?! Run fast! Run away from the smell! (Later I would learn that the birds eat fish and therefore poop dead fishy smell.) Yuck!
Mile 14: Another ambulance. It didn’t look serious, but I hope that person is okay. Begin a slight incline. My knees are really starting to hurt. I’m so glad for Todd who is keeping me going. We’ve turned the corner at the top of the lake, meaning the wind is now in our face.
Mile 14.5: I’m going to throw up. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m very nauseous. I had a GU a while back, but it might be time for another. Oh, well press on. I encourage Todd to leave me, but he’s patient and encouraging.
Mile 15: Apt Life cheerleaders! What an encouragement. My knees are really hurting now. They never hurt this bad in a long training run. My stomach is still uneasy, but better. Todd is still being patient with me, but I sense that I’m holding him back.
Mile 16: I have to walk. Maybe I’ve broken something in my knee. Every step brings a sharp stabbing pain that originates in my right knee and radiates through my whole right leg. My left knee aches too, but not nearly as bad. It feels like I need to stretch, but that seems to actually make it worse. Todd asks if I’ll be okay if he takes off. Yes, please don’t worry about it! Thank you for staying with me so far, but go run! I’m not entirely alone on the marathon course and I don’t want to hold him back anymore, but I must walk. I’m worried that I won’t be able to finish.
Mile 17: Praise the Lord in heaven! The aid station had aspirin and it is working on my knee. Pick up the pace again! A little further and I realize that despite chugging a cup of water with the aspirin, my mouth is very dry. I'm not carrying my own water, so I wipe my hand across my forehead and lick the salt off my hand. Kind of gross, but it made my mouth salivate and not be dry! I don't know what made me think to do that, but I will remember that trick.
Mile 18: A steep downhill and then a steep uphill. Reality is probably less steep, but it feels brutal. The wind is high and in my face still. I keep passing a stinky man. I want to pass him for good.
Mile 19: Grueling. Thank God for the Dolly Parton aid station to make me laugh. Men with huge ones! Mostly uphill with very high winds in my face. I want to die. Keep passing the stinky man. Keep praying to take my mind off what I’m actually doing.
Mile 20: Just a 10K left, 6.2 miles. I sprint a stretch to leave the stinky man behind once and for all. Just a little more uphill. I can do this. Don’t stop. Helpful marathon staff ran with me for a block. She was encouraging, but I think she was really evaluating whether or not she should take me off the course. I must look bad. “Yes, I’ve had GU and water. No I’m not dehydrated at all. Yes, I strength trained in addition to running.”
Mile 21: One more down. All of a sudden I realize that my hips are not hurting. All that strength training and those lunges at the gym are paying off. My hips are what hurt most in my 20 mile training runs. I come up on a band that is playing “Hush little baby, don’t way a word…” but with different words! What the heck? Lullabies, really people. That is the last thing I need.
Mile 22: Oops, I yelled at someone’s grandparents. I didn’t mean for them to hear me, but I’m too tired to control my volume. They got in between me and the water station and I couldn’t get around them. They’d seen their granddaughter or someone already so they were just strolling. The volunteer offered them water before me. When they turned it down with a, “Oh, we’re not part of the race.” I said, “Then get OFF the course!” I meant to say it under my breath. Oops.
I’ve been listening to my iPod, but I switch to a new song list that walks a short song and runs’s three fast ones that equal 10 minute stretches. Every four songs should cover a mile. This will get me to the end. I’m starting to realize that I will finish this.
Mile 23: I’m actually going to finish. Keep running, three songs on, walk one song. Three miles to go. Another freaking band playing bad marathon music. It’s slow blue grass. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” What are they thinking?! At least some of the 30 odd bands were decent.
Mile 24: Smile at the course guide directing runners with a rubber chicken and a bird call.
Mile 25: 1.2 is nothing. Keep one foot in front of the other. Run three, walk one song.
Mile 26: I can see the finish line and decide to sprint. I cannot believe that I’m capable of anything like a sprint and realize that it’s all in my head. I’m running at least, not walking. What feels like a sprint to me, looks like a jog.
26.2: I hear the announcer say my name and that I am a first time finisher. Someone hands me a medal and a space blanket. The blanket is weird and I shed it right away. I see Apt Life friends and borrow someone’s phone to call my mom. Amazingly, my feet to not hurt, nor do I remember them hurting at all during my run. Good shoes and socks make that big a difference!
Finished!
Finished!
Dallas White Rock Full Marathon
Time: 5.53.43
Pace: 13.29
December 15, 2008:
I’ve learned that my personality needs a goal to motivate me toward fitness. I’m competitive, but I like the aspect of running that is competing with myself instead of others. I’ve learned a lot about the sport of running; what to do, what not to do, what to eat, etc… Even if I do not run another full marathon, I am ready to embrace this new aspect of my identity: a life-long runner. Speed work now and then smaller races here I come!
Leading up to a marathon
April 2008
My pants are tight. My post-baby “fat” pants, my largest pair, are too tight. I AM NOT going to buy a new wardrobe. I know the shotgun approach to fitness does not work for me. I haven’t actually worked out since before Joel was born in 2005. What to do??? I bought new pants, but only two pair.
May 2008
My friends at co-workers have returned from Apartment Life’s annual staff retreat. I wasn’t able to attend. They are all excited about running a marathon. Apparently this was some sort of challenge during the retreat, to increase your PQ (physical quotient) along with your SQ (spiritual quotient). They want me to run too. I told them I need a week to think about it.
June 3, 2008
I’ve been thinking about the marathon challenge. I subscribed to Runner’s World magazine and talked to a friend at church who is a tri-athlete. I mentioned my plans to my doctor today and he looked at me like I was crazy. “That’s one way to get in shape, but I’ll never run a marathon.” “Why,” I ask? He tells me it sounds like too much work to him. “Is it dangerous?” I have to ask. “As long as you are not pregnant, and you train well, you should be okay.”
That’s it. I have a competitive spirit. Too much work, huh? Watch me! Oh, so you all are going to run a marathon together? Okay, I can run too!
June 5, 2008
I took the kids to the gym today and ran on the treadmill. After a little reading I decided that the treadmill was the place for me to start. I can monitor my time and distance to get an idea of how I’m running now. I’ll need to set goals. To my surprise, it was very difficult to run for even two minutes. Two Minutes! I knew that I was in bad shape, but really, two minutes? Oh, well. My plan is to run two minutes, walk to minutes repeating until I’m tired. Next week, I’ll run three minutes, walk two minutes.
July 2008
Run ten minutes, walk two minutes! I’m up to a five mile run! I stop counting minutes and start counting miles. Yeah!
August 2008
I’ve been pregnant and now I’m miscarrying. I haven’t run in weeks. I’m tossing in the towel. There is no way I can train for a marathon in less than 4 months. Maybe next year.
Sept 2008
They talked me into sticking it out. The miles came back faster than I thought. I’m up to ten mile runs by October 1st. My parent’s bought me a double jogging stroller for my birthday. Nice. It’s hard work, but nice to run away from the treadmill.
Nov 2008
My first 20 mile run. It hurt so bad! Thank God for all the helpful info I’ve learned from Runner’s World and other experienced runners in my circles of friends and co-workers. I have one more 20 miler in my training schedule before the race on Dec. 14th.
December 13, 2008
Arrived in Dallas with my mother today. Emily Alexander is hosting us and she is wonderful! The expo was interesting. So many real runners! I feel like a pretender. At the same time, it was a little surreal to pick up my packet, to see the race bib with my name on it. I signed members of my family up to receive text messages of my progress during the race. We have timing tags to wear on our shoes that send the info.
Dinner with the Apt Life staff was nice. Again, many new faces, but everyone is wonderful and encouraging. Here we go!
My pants are tight. My post-baby “fat” pants, my largest pair, are too tight. I AM NOT going to buy a new wardrobe. I know the shotgun approach to fitness does not work for me. I haven’t actually worked out since before Joel was born in 2005. What to do??? I bought new pants, but only two pair.
May 2008
My friends at co-workers have returned from Apartment Life’s annual staff retreat. I wasn’t able to attend. They are all excited about running a marathon. Apparently this was some sort of challenge during the retreat, to increase your PQ (physical quotient) along with your SQ (spiritual quotient). They want me to run too. I told them I need a week to think about it.
June 3, 2008
I’ve been thinking about the marathon challenge. I subscribed to Runner’s World magazine and talked to a friend at church who is a tri-athlete. I mentioned my plans to my doctor today and he looked at me like I was crazy. “That’s one way to get in shape, but I’ll never run a marathon.” “Why,” I ask? He tells me it sounds like too much work to him. “Is it dangerous?” I have to ask. “As long as you are not pregnant, and you train well, you should be okay.”
That’s it. I have a competitive spirit. Too much work, huh? Watch me! Oh, so you all are going to run a marathon together? Okay, I can run too!
June 5, 2008
I took the kids to the gym today and ran on the treadmill. After a little reading I decided that the treadmill was the place for me to start. I can monitor my time and distance to get an idea of how I’m running now. I’ll need to set goals. To my surprise, it was very difficult to run for even two minutes. Two Minutes! I knew that I was in bad shape, but really, two minutes? Oh, well. My plan is to run two minutes, walk to minutes repeating until I’m tired. Next week, I’ll run three minutes, walk two minutes.
July 2008
Run ten minutes, walk two minutes! I’m up to a five mile run! I stop counting minutes and start counting miles. Yeah!
August 2008
I’ve been pregnant and now I’m miscarrying. I haven’t run in weeks. I’m tossing in the towel. There is no way I can train for a marathon in less than 4 months. Maybe next year.
Sept 2008
They talked me into sticking it out. The miles came back faster than I thought. I’m up to ten mile runs by October 1st. My parent’s bought me a double jogging stroller for my birthday. Nice. It’s hard work, but nice to run away from the treadmill.
Nov 2008
My first 20 mile run. It hurt so bad! Thank God for all the helpful info I’ve learned from Runner’s World and other experienced runners in my circles of friends and co-workers. I have one more 20 miler in my training schedule before the race on Dec. 14th.
December 13, 2008
Arrived in Dallas with my mother today. Emily Alexander is hosting us and she is wonderful! The expo was interesting. So many real runners! I feel like a pretender. At the same time, it was a little surreal to pick up my packet, to see the race bib with my name on it. I signed members of my family up to receive text messages of my progress during the race. We have timing tags to wear on our shoes that send the info.
Dinner with the Apt Life staff was nice. Again, many new faces, but everyone is wonderful and encouraging. Here we go!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Measure of Friendship
A friend will ride her bike next to you for a twenty mile run. She'll give up half her Saturday for this form of boredom. Thank you, Julia.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
A Few Weeks, A Few Shards
I had the unique experience of having marble-sized hail begin to pound my car in sunny, 86 degree weather a few weeks ago. At first I was very confused, and so was the guy in the open convertible next to me. Incredible.
Me: Thanks for going to the grocery store with me, Joel.
Joel: Sure, I'll always take care of you, Momma.
Pause while I smile and he thinks...
Joel: Nah! I'm to little to take care of you!
Chuckles and Giggles :)
Me: You take care of my heart by loving me and being you, Joel!
Joel with a note of awe: I do love you, don't I!
The most encouraging experiences when running with my new jogging stroller are the dropped jaws in passing cars. That and "Momma, run faster! Daddy runs faster! Momma, don't stop! Daddy runs longer!" John and I are both training for different marathons and today I think we're crazy.
So, I'm finally reading True Faced and really like it. I had lunch recently with one of the authors and learned that there is a connection between The Shack and True Faced. So... if you liked one, you should read the other. ;)
I hate saying goodbye to friends moving away. It is really horrible. Most of my friends have moved to other states in the last few years and now I'm in a stage of life when it's difficult to make new friends due to time limitations imposed by children. That, and other friends talk often about their travels to visit other friends... that's hard because our travel budget is non-existent. Even when it is existent in small amounts, we have family out-of-state too.
I became an aunt again this week! John's sister and brother-in-law gave birth to Nolan, and I think he is beautiful!
I hate medical professionals who don't listen well and talk down to me. Um, hello! I'm not the child here, my son is. Look at me, listen, and then respond in a normal voice and vocabulary please. I respect your knowledge in your field, please respect my equal intelligence.
Enough "Shards" for tonight. Thanks for taking the time for my brain-pickings!
Me: Thanks for going to the grocery store with me, Joel.
Joel: Sure, I'll always take care of you, Momma.
Pause while I smile and he thinks...
Joel: Nah! I'm to little to take care of you!
Chuckles and Giggles :)
Me: You take care of my heart by loving me and being you, Joel!
Joel with a note of awe: I do love you, don't I!
The most encouraging experiences when running with my new jogging stroller are the dropped jaws in passing cars. That and "Momma, run faster! Daddy runs faster! Momma, don't stop! Daddy runs longer!" John and I are both training for different marathons and today I think we're crazy.
So, I'm finally reading True Faced and really like it. I had lunch recently with one of the authors and learned that there is a connection between The Shack and True Faced. So... if you liked one, you should read the other. ;)
I hate saying goodbye to friends moving away. It is really horrible. Most of my friends have moved to other states in the last few years and now I'm in a stage of life when it's difficult to make new friends due to time limitations imposed by children. That, and other friends talk often about their travels to visit other friends... that's hard because our travel budget is non-existent. Even when it is existent in small amounts, we have family out-of-state too.
I became an aunt again this week! John's sister and brother-in-law gave birth to Nolan, and I think he is beautiful!
I hate medical professionals who don't listen well and talk down to me. Um, hello! I'm not the child here, my son is. Look at me, listen, and then respond in a normal voice and vocabulary please. I respect your knowledge in your field, please respect my equal intelligence.
Enough "Shards" for tonight. Thanks for taking the time for my brain-pickings!
Monday, August 25, 2008
2 Minutes in My Day
Crap, I forgot to move the sprinkler and now I've watered the street as well as my yard! It is freakin irritating when someone spits their gum on the ground. I bet the kind of person who does that is also the kind of person who would get REALLY mad when they step in it too. They're too stupid to even realize the conflict there. "Joel, please don't hit Micah with your drum stick." Dang, I've been meaning to clean up that smear of toothpaste in the hall for over a month. Oh, well. We're late. No time now. Where are my keys. "Micah, don't eat off the floor. Here is your milk. Yuck, that was last night's dinner! Yes, Joel. I'm sorry I called it a drum stick. It's a magic wand today." I COULD NOT handle another baby! Where are my keys? Ah, not my keys, but almost as important... my phone is ringing somewhere. Of course my phone is in the bathroom. Where else can I talk without obnoxious background noise. That's kind of funny if you think about it, but don't think about it. "Hello, this is Christy. (pause) Yes I did receive your application. Your spouse needs to apply before you can move to the next step of the process. Did you receive my email explaining everything? Okay, I'll call you within 48 hours of both applications submitted then. Have a good day." I don't have time for unnecessary questions mister. Breathe. It's too quiet in the house... "Joel, DO NOT take your shoes off. We are leaving. Now! Where is Micah? Micah, No no no no no. Climbing in the shelves is dangerous, sweetheart. Everybody ready? Check keys, purse, phone, diaper and wipe stash, distraction toys, fully clothed children with shoes still on. Go. Out the door. Now! Go, go, go, go, go! Yes, happy feet! I love you guys!" I think I want to have another baby. Keys! Where are my keys? Right in the middle of the kitchen counter. How did I miss them before? Hey, who wants to sing the ABC's in underwater accent?!
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