2 Minutes in My Day

Crap, I forgot to move the sprinkler and now I've watered the street as well as my yard! It is freakin irritating when someone spits their gum on the ground. I bet the kind of person who does that is also the kind of person who would get REALLY mad when they step in it too. They're too stupid to even realize the conflict there. "Joel, please don't hit Micah with your drum stick." Dang, I've been meaning to clean up that smear of toothpaste in the hall for over a month. Oh, well. We're late. No time now. Where are my keys. "Micah, don't eat off the floor. Here is your milk. Yuck, that was last night's dinner! Yes, Joel. I'm sorry I called it a drum stick. It's a magic wand today." I COULD NOT handle another baby! Where are my keys? Ah, not my keys, but almost as important... my phone is ringing somewhere. Of course my phone is in the bathroom. Where else can I talk without obnoxious background noise. That's kind of funny if you think about it, but don't think about it. "Hello, this is Christy. (pause) Yes I did receive your application. Your spouse needs to apply before you can move to the next step of the process. Did you receive my email explaining everything? Okay, I'll call you within 48 hours of both applications submitted then. Have a good day." I don't have time for unnecessary questions mister. Breathe. It's too quiet in the house... "Joel, DO NOT take your shoes off. We are leaving. Now! Where is Micah? Micah, No no no no no. Climbing in the shelves is dangerous, sweetheart. Everybody ready? Check keys, purse, phone, diaper and wipe stash, distraction toys, fully clothed children with shoes still on. Go. Out the door. Now! Go, go, go, go, go! Yes, happy feet! I love you guys!" I think I want to have another baby. Keys! Where are my keys? Right in the middle of the kitchen counter. How did I miss them before? Hey, who wants to sing the ABC's in underwater accent?!