It has been some time that various acquaintance have urged me to blog. I have resisted with the usual platitudes of a busy work-from-home mom. I marvel at the phenomenon occurrence when millions of average people post their thoughts and actually gain readership. I cannot fathom that anyone would care what I have to say, or that all these bloggers believe their thoughts are original or unique. Having made my excuses, I will now embark on the topic that lead me to post thoughts to the world at large in the first place. In this century there has been a very gradual deterioration of etiquette. As each generation carelessly tosses aside one or two rules of acceptable public behavior, the result is a society of people who conduct themselves in ways that are thoughtless of those around them.
I have a strong value of etiquette. That my own behavior is always in accordance with good etiquette, I will not guarantee, but none-the-less I value the knowledge of proper behavior because it often aligns with considerate behavior. My husband tells me that my passion in this area is sometimes unrealistic or not well reasoned. I will admit that though I object to breaches of etiquette in certain areas, they are not really of great importance. Wearing hats indoors, for instance, is something technically incorrect, but of relatively little importance and often unnoticed accept in very formal settings.
I recently attended a ballet with my mother. She was given two tickets to the Nutcracker at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix, AZ. To put it mildly, I was appalled at the behavior, both of the theater staff and the theater goers. If you are unsure of how to behave when you attend an artistic performance, let me now enlighten you. Arrogant, I know, but bare with me please.
Arrive on time. Traditionally, a theater attendant would not seat late-comers until a proper opportunity between numbers or acts. At the Nutcracker there were many late-comers. This is rude, disrespectful to the performers. The Dodge Theater allowed these people to be seated whenever they arrived. I cannot count how many times I missed a move or a sound because some late-comer's nether-regions invaded my line of vision or whispered in my ear a request to move. Etiquette rule #1: Arrive on time. If you are unable to avoid lateness, wait until between songs or acts to be seated.
Eating and drinking during a performance is appropriate for movie theaters and rock concerts. Eating and drinking is not appropriate for the ballet, orchestra, live theater, opera, etc... I was shocked that The Dodge Theater sold food and drink for the Nutcracker. I was further appalled at all the munching and slurping I was subjected to. It certainly distracted me from a thorough enjoyment of the music and dance. Tchaikovsky, I am certain, did not intend that his music be accompanied by chomps and crunching popcorn when he composed such drastic disparities of emotion, culture, sight, and sound. I confidently claim that he intended the listener to be touched by such intricate nuances of sound and instrumentation as would move the audience to reverence. Chomping is irreverent. Etiquette rule #2: Do not eat during live performances, or at the very least, eat quietly.
Clapping is to be done between sets or acts. It is not necessary to clap at every pause. The performer's actually do not appreciate it as it causes them to have difficulty hearing their next cue. If you are unsure of when to clap, then follow the progress of the performance in your playbill and only clap between acts or when the performers specifically request audience interaction. If you are at all unsure about appropriate clapping, then do not insist on being the leader in audience response. Etiquette rule # 3: Clap only between acts, sets, or at the end of a performance.
Talking during the performance. I cannot believe this should even need to be said. Shut your trap! Etiquette rule # 4: DO NOT TALK during a performance!!!
Turn off your cell phones. The others can hear it vibrate too. Turn it off. The performer's and composer's purpose is that you are engaged and entertained by the performance. If you do not want to be engaged and entertained, then don't attend. There is no communication from your cell phone that could be so urgent that it is more important that everyone else in the theater. If you expect that kind of news, you shouldn't be in the theater, but rather at home waiting for the big news. Do not send or receive text messages either. The light is disruptive. Etiquette rule #5: Turn your cell phone or similar communication device completely OFF!
As a mother, I appreciate the value of exposing our children to cultural experiences like the ballet. Most theater's have matinee performances that would be better for your children. When they are old enough, I intend to take my children to high school performances of theater, music, and dance so that they will learn theater etiquette before I unleash them on the world at large. If your children need a quick lesson during a performance, politely excuse yourself and hold that conversation in the lobby. Etiquette rule #6: Leave your kids at home unless you know that they know how to behave.
I am sure there is more to be said on this topic, but I will now leave my soapbox. Maybe life will afford me another opportunity to expostulate on good etiquette. If you have read this far, I thank you for your patience with my ranting and promise my next blog will reflect a greater satisfaction with the world.
