My New Self: A Runner!

December 14, 2008
I couldn’t sleep last night. It felt like the night before Christmas or a trip to Disneyland when I was a little girl, or like the night before my wedding! I’m nervous and excited. I agonized in my packing about what to wear, etc… but ended up making last minute changes today anyway. They are predicting perfect temperatures, but windy.

Starting Line: Meet Todd Hall. Todd works for Apartment Life and Kiley thought we run at a similar pace to each other. Since we ran into each other at the start line, we decide to stick together at least in the beginning.

Miles 1-3: This is crazy! There are 17,000 runners. It’s chaos and I have to pee! I find a port-o-let and amazingly, some fellow Lifer’s! Peel the pants. Sure it’s cold, but I’m swearing in my pants already. I planned on loosing them and so am wearing cheap Capri warm-ups from Ross. There is a funny man singing karaoke at the first water station. I love it! It is windy, but not too bad.

Miles 4-6: Okay, feeling the need to walk, but I don’t want to hold up Todd and he keeps waiting for me, so I press on. The downtown area in Dallas is nice. I like running with new scenery to look at. It’s certainly better than the brown gunk in the bottom of Thunderbird Paseo Park.

Miles 7-10: The neighborhoods are beautiful! The houses look like they are out of a fairy tale book. I love the families cheering from their yards. We had to move over for a fire engine and ambulance. That was disconcerting. I ran past just as they were lifting the guy onto the stretcher. He didn’t look good. I try not to think about what might have caused whatever happened to him. Just keep running up this hill!!! At least the wind it mostly at our back! Also the half marathon course has split from ours so the road is not quite so crowded.

Mile 11-12: Reached the top of the hill and Todd and I decided to give ourselves a walking break. We picked two trees about thirty yards ahead to mark when we would run again. Turn the corner and there’s ESPN. Great, I’m on TV walking mile 12! My knees are starting to ache so I’m not giving up my break just to look good on TV. The lake looks rough. The wind is causing waves with white caps to break against the shore!

Mile 13: I hear a snatch of someone else’s conversation. “I was in a wheel chair for two years. Last March, I got out of my chair and today I’m running, less 10 months later!” That is inspiration right there. There are birds crowding the dead branches of a tree up ahead. It reminds me of the buzzards in Disney’s The Jungle Book. Fast forward fifty yards, and what is that awful smell?! Run fast! Run away from the smell! (Later I would learn that the birds eat fish and therefore poop dead fishy smell.) Yuck!

Mile 14: Another ambulance. It didn’t look serious, but I hope that person is okay. Begin a slight incline. My knees are really starting to hurt. I’m so glad for Todd who is keeping me going. We’ve turned the corner at the top of the lake, meaning the wind is now in our face.

Mile 14.5: I’m going to throw up. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m very nauseous. I had a GU a while back, but it might be time for another. Oh, well press on. I encourage Todd to leave me, but he’s patient and encouraging.

Mile 15: Apt Life cheerleaders! What an encouragement. My knees are really hurting now. They never hurt this bad in a long training run. My stomach is still uneasy, but better. Todd is still being patient with me, but I sense that I’m holding him back.

Mile 16: I have to walk. Maybe I’ve broken something in my knee. Every step brings a sharp stabbing pain that originates in my right knee and radiates through my whole right leg. My left knee aches too, but not nearly as bad. It feels like I need to stretch, but that seems to actually make it worse. Todd asks if I’ll be okay if he takes off. Yes, please don’t worry about it! Thank you for staying with me so far, but go run! I’m not entirely alone on the marathon course and I don’t want to hold him back anymore, but I must walk. I’m worried that I won’t be able to finish.
Mile 17: Praise the Lord in heaven! The aid station had aspirin and it is working on my knee. Pick up the pace again! A little further and I realize that despite chugging a cup of water with the aspirin, my mouth is very dry. I'm not carrying my own water, so I wipe my hand across my forehead and lick the salt off my hand. Kind of gross, but it made my mouth salivate and not be dry! I don't know what made me think to do that, but I will remember that trick.


Mile 18: A steep downhill and then a steep uphill. Reality is probably less steep, but it feels brutal. The wind is high and in my face still. I keep passing a stinky man. I want to pass him for good.

Mile 19: Grueling. Thank God for the Dolly Parton aid station to make me laugh. Men with huge ones! Mostly uphill with very high winds in my face. I want to die. Keep passing the stinky man. Keep praying to take my mind off what I’m actually doing.

Mile 20: Just a 10K left, 6.2 miles. I sprint a stretch to leave the stinky man behind once and for all. Just a little more uphill. I can do this. Don’t stop. Helpful marathon staff ran with me for a block. She was encouraging, but I think she was really evaluating whether or not she should take me off the course. I must look bad. “Yes, I’ve had GU and water. No I’m not dehydrated at all. Yes, I strength trained in addition to running.”

Mile 21: One more down. All of a sudden I realize that my hips are not hurting. All that strength training and those lunges at the gym are paying off. My hips are what hurt most in my 20 mile training runs. I come up on a band that is playing “Hush little baby, don’t way a word…” but with different words! What the heck? Lullabies, really people. That is the last thing I need.

Mile 22: Oops, I yelled at someone’s grandparents. I didn’t mean for them to hear me, but I’m too tired to control my volume. They got in between me and the water station and I couldn’t get around them. They’d seen their granddaughter or someone already so they were just strolling. The volunteer offered them water before me. When they turned it down with a, “Oh, we’re not part of the race.” I said, “Then get OFF the course!” I meant to say it under my breath. Oops.

I’ve been listening to my iPod, but I switch to a new song list that walks a short song and runs’s three fast ones that equal 10 minute stretches. Every four songs should cover a mile. This will get me to the end. I’m starting to realize that I will finish this.

Mile 23: I’m actually going to finish. Keep running, three songs on, walk one song. Three miles to go. Another freaking band playing bad marathon music. It’s slow blue grass. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” What are they thinking?! At least some of the 30 odd bands were decent.

Mile 24: Smile at the course guide directing runners with a rubber chicken and a bird call.

Mile 25: 1.2 is nothing. Keep one foot in front of the other. Run three, walk one song.



Mile 26: I can see the finish line and decide to sprint. I cannot believe that I’m capable of anything like a sprint and realize that it’s all in my head. I’m running at least, not walking. What feels like a sprint to me, looks like a jog.

26.2: I hear the announcer say my name and that I am a first time finisher. Someone hands me a medal and a space blanket. The blanket is weird and I shed it right away. I see Apt Life friends and borrow someone’s phone to call my mom. Amazingly, my feet to not hurt, nor do I remember them hurting at all during my run. Good shoes and socks make that big a difference!

Finished!

Dallas White Rock Full Marathon

Time: 5.53.43

Pace: 13.29

December 15, 2008:

I have surprisingly little muscle pain, but my knees will definitely need several weeks to recover. I think it was the hills that did them in, not the distance. The flight home was okay. I’ve glad this is over, but the jury is still out on whether or not I’ll do it again. I’m looking forward to cheering John in his marathon in January.
I’ve learned that my personality needs a goal to motivate me toward fitness. I’m competitive, but I like the aspect of running that is competing with myself instead of others. I’ve learned a lot about the sport of running; what to do, what not to do, what to eat, etc… Even if I do not run another full marathon, I am ready to embrace this new aspect of my identity: a life-long runner. Speed work now and then smaller races here I come!

Leading up to a marathon

April 2008
My pants are tight. My post-baby “fat” pants, my largest pair, are too tight. I AM NOT going to buy a new wardrobe. I know the shotgun approach to fitness does not work for me. I haven’t actually worked out since before Joel was born in 2005. What to do??? I bought new pants, but only two pair.

May 2008
My friends at co-workers have returned from Apartment Life’s annual staff retreat. I wasn’t able to attend. They are all excited about running a marathon. Apparently this was some sort of challenge during the retreat, to increase your PQ (physical quotient) along with your SQ (spiritual quotient). They want me to run too. I told them I need a week to think about it.

June 3, 2008
I’ve been thinking about the marathon challenge. I subscribed to Runner’s World magazine and talked to a friend at church who is a tri-athlete. I mentioned my plans to my doctor today and he looked at me like I was crazy. “That’s one way to get in shape, but I’ll never run a marathon.” “Why,” I ask? He tells me it sounds like too much work to him. “Is it dangerous?” I have to ask. “As long as you are not pregnant, and you train well, you should be okay.”

That’s it. I have a competitive spirit. Too much work, huh? Watch me! Oh, so you all are going to run a marathon together? Okay, I can run too!

June 5, 2008
I took the kids to the gym today and ran on the treadmill. After a little reading I decided that the treadmill was the place for me to start. I can monitor my time and distance to get an idea of how I’m running now. I’ll need to set goals. To my surprise, it was very difficult to run for even two minutes. Two Minutes! I knew that I was in bad shape, but really, two minutes? Oh, well. My plan is to run two minutes, walk to minutes repeating until I’m tired. Next week, I’ll run three minutes, walk two minutes.

July 2008
Run ten minutes, walk two minutes! I’m up to a five mile run! I stop counting minutes and start counting miles. Yeah!

August 2008
I’ve been pregnant and now I’m miscarrying. I haven’t run in weeks. I’m tossing in the towel. There is no way I can train for a marathon in less than 4 months. Maybe next year.

Sept 2008
They talked me into sticking it out. The miles came back faster than I thought. I’m up to ten mile runs by October 1st. My parent’s bought me a double jogging stroller for my birthday. Nice. It’s hard work, but nice to run away from the treadmill.

Nov 2008
My first 20 mile run. It hurt so bad! Thank God for all the helpful info I’ve learned from Runner’s World and other experienced runners in my circles of friends and co-workers. I have one more 20 miler in my training schedule before the race on Dec. 14th.

December 13, 2008
Arrived in Dallas with my mother today. Emily Alexander is hosting us and she is wonderful! The expo was interesting. So many real runners! I feel like a pretender. At the same time, it was a little surreal to pick up my packet, to see the race bib with my name on it. I signed members of my family up to receive text messages of my progress during the race. We have timing tags to wear on our shoes that send the info.

Dinner with the Apt Life staff was nice. Again, many new faces, but everyone is wonderful and encouraging. Here we go!

Measure of Friendship

A friend will ride her bike next to you for a twenty mile run. She'll give up half her Saturday for this form of boredom. Thank you, Julia.

A Few Weeks, A Few Shards

I had the unique experience of having marble-sized hail begin to pound my car in sunny, 86 degree weather a few weeks ago. At first I was very confused, and so was the guy in the open convertible next to me. Incredible.

Me: Thanks for going to the grocery store with me, Joel.
Joel: Sure, I'll always take care of you, Momma.
Pause while I smile and he thinks...
Joel: Nah! I'm to little to take care of you!
Chuckles and Giggles :)
Me: You take care of my heart by loving me and being you, Joel!
Joel with a note of awe: I do love you, don't I!

The most encouraging experiences when running with my new jogging stroller are the dropped jaws in passing cars. That and "Momma, run faster! Daddy runs faster! Momma, don't stop! Daddy runs longer!" John and I are both training for different marathons and today I think we're crazy.

So, I'm finally reading True Faced and really like it. I had lunch recently with one of the authors and learned that there is a connection between The Shack and True Faced. So... if you liked one, you should read the other. ;)

I hate saying goodbye to friends moving away. It is really horrible. Most of my friends have moved to other states in the last few years and now I'm in a stage of life when it's difficult to make new friends due to time limitations imposed by children. That, and other friends talk often about their travels to visit other friends... that's hard because our travel budget is non-existent. Even when it is existent in small amounts, we have family out-of-state too.

I became an aunt again this week! John's sister and brother-in-law gave birth to Nolan, and I think he is beautiful!

I hate medical professionals who don't listen well and talk down to me. Um, hello! I'm not the child here, my son is. Look at me, listen, and then respond in a normal voice and vocabulary please. I respect your knowledge in your field, please respect my equal intelligence.

Enough "Shards" for tonight. Thanks for taking the time for my brain-pickings!

2 Minutes in My Day

Crap, I forgot to move the sprinkler and now I've watered the street as well as my yard! It is freakin irritating when someone spits their gum on the ground. I bet the kind of person who does that is also the kind of person who would get REALLY mad when they step in it too. They're too stupid to even realize the conflict there. "Joel, please don't hit Micah with your drum stick." Dang, I've been meaning to clean up that smear of toothpaste in the hall for over a month. Oh, well. We're late. No time now. Where are my keys. "Micah, don't eat off the floor. Here is your milk. Yuck, that was last night's dinner! Yes, Joel. I'm sorry I called it a drum stick. It's a magic wand today." I COULD NOT handle another baby! Where are my keys? Ah, not my keys, but almost as important... my phone is ringing somewhere. Of course my phone is in the bathroom. Where else can I talk without obnoxious background noise. That's kind of funny if you think about it, but don't think about it. "Hello, this is Christy. (pause) Yes I did receive your application. Your spouse needs to apply before you can move to the next step of the process. Did you receive my email explaining everything? Okay, I'll call you within 48 hours of both applications submitted then. Have a good day." I don't have time for unnecessary questions mister. Breathe. It's too quiet in the house... "Joel, DO NOT take your shoes off. We are leaving. Now! Where is Micah? Micah, No no no no no. Climbing in the shelves is dangerous, sweetheart. Everybody ready? Check keys, purse, phone, diaper and wipe stash, distraction toys, fully clothed children with shoes still on. Go. Out the door. Now! Go, go, go, go, go! Yes, happy feet! I love you guys!" I think I want to have another baby. Keys! Where are my keys? Right in the middle of the kitchen counter. How did I miss them before? Hey, who wants to sing the ABC's in underwater accent?!

Things I Love

Not listed in a particular order...

Things I Love:
1) The smell of oak trees, especially after rain
2) Baby feet
3) Newborn baby smell
4) Potato soup & rare steak
5) Pretty tableware
6) A good book, usually fiction
7) Old hymnals & music books
8) Hard flooring
9) The sun on my face
10) Rosemary, Lavendar, & Peppermint (not together)

Things I love to do:
1) Swim
2) Sing
3) Camp
4) Read
5) Run
6) Create
7) Play with my boys
8) Sleep
9) Visit
10) Finish

Things I Want :) HaHa & Hint Hint
Jogging stroller
New clothes
Clean bathroom
Minivan - never thought I'd say that
A heart-rate monitor
Babysitting
More time in the day
Patience :) I'm taking a lesson right now. I'll tell you about it when it's over.

At Once Complicated, Beautiful, and Ugly

The Sunday prior to the 4th of July, I had to work at a church other than the one I usually attend these days. As I was working, I did not get to hear all of any service, but a very dear friend was preaching. I did hear part of the worship and I was more than bothered at the strong patriotism in the songs and in the prayers. When asked by a colleague why I was so bothered, I could not put my finger on or clearly articulate my thoughts.

Fast forward to the evening of the 4th of July.

My family, immediate and extended, attended the D-Back's game together. We had a great time. It was Joel's first time at the ballpark and his first fireworks show. He was mesmerized by both. As I held him in my lap and enjoyed the patriotic music playing, I realized that many of the songs had been played in that church the previous week and like a light bulb I realized why I had been so bothered. Webster defines patriotism with few words, "love for or devotion to one's country." With that definition in mind, patriotic songs are in essence worship music for a country. In church, the only entity to be worshiped is God.

I believe that it is very appropriate to thank God for the blessings we live in, and I enjoy patriotic music. The USA has done some pretty wonderful things. We stood up for different oppressed peoples in many various countries and wars, sustaining compassionate humanitarian organizations global and local, welcoming refugees into our communities. We have managed to protect the freedoms cherished by our Founding Fathers, many of whom were not Christians, contrary to popular belief. We've also done some pretty awful things. We allowed the KKK to practice their bigotry, taking the law into their own hands. We have mistakenly and intentionally bombed civilians when at war. We have violated the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, and allowed Minute Men to take the law into their own hands. We have mistreated POWs and refused aid to countries experiencing genocide. It would be unreasonable to think we could help everyone, or always act perfectly right. It's just nice to have a balanced view of our country's history and current circumstance. Like a person, it's complicated, beautiful, and ugly all at the same time. God, on the other hand, IS perfect and worthy of worship.

I do not want to live any where other than the USA. I would call myself patriotic, just not during church. I support out troops, prayerfully and financially, because they are living a sacrificial lifestyle for my benefit and the benefit of others (by financially, I mean in addition to required taxes). I respect the men and women of the military and are thankful for their sacrifices. I think that I oppose the war in Iraq even though I do not fully understand all the politics and media surrounding it.

Over and over again, I hear the words, "God bless America," and "America has turned her back on God, prohibiting prayer in school, removing scriptures or phrases from national icons, condoning homosexual lifestyles and teenage pregnancy, Hollywood." If this country was founded on Christian principles, the way many so passionately claim, then we should be praying for our enemy. "God bless Iraq." I guess that prayer was not allowed in school when I was a kid, but prayer is a matter of my heart and God's spirit, not something at all governed by others, ever. Prayer is only disallowed in school if you choose to stop your heart.

I sense that I am beginning to ramble on tangents. My purpose in writing tonight is to make the point that Independence Day is a political holiday, not a religious holiday. Patriotism in church reveals our arrogance as a nation, implies a lesser claim on Christ's love by Christians in other countries, and weakens the spiritual encounter at hand like a golden calf. It is one thing to be thankful to God for our political circumstance, but quite another to blatantly worship a political institution in God's own house.